"Whew" I slowly mumbled to my self as my heart was pounding. Time to shake it off as we walked over to the high jump. I knew I was going to get a 3 I had been praceing for this but then all of the changed I ran up to the bar knock I tried it again knock this is my last chance to show them what I am made of I run as fast as I can I flick one of my legs over and the the other one I made it Ihad cleared the bar"wwwhhhhhhhhooooo" I shouted I did it again and again until they marked it down on the sheet the Lucy Bleackley had got a 3. By the time it was all over the sun was blazzzzzing hot. And that was my last athletics here at Riverdale.
nice work I liked how you used describing words but next time don't use them straight after another but apart from that great.
ReplyDeleteI liked you start 123 go it realy put you in there but to write in level 3 you need to pragegraph
ReplyDeletewell done Luce
ReplyDeletewhat you did well- you added humor and great describing words.
what you could do better next time- write in paragraphs.
cool story hopefuly next time you wont hit mrs Merrecherc
ReplyDeleteGreat Luce!
ReplyDeleteYou explained how you felt when you got a three on High Jump! Next time you could maybe do some paragraphing? or maybe you could do a spelling check